Two months of Gayliens
The day this goes up marks two months since my little ‘Gayliens’ book came out, and happens to be the week Doctor Who returns to TV. So, what better time to reflect on putting this book out into the world?
Let’s start with bold statements; this book has been my favourite all-around writing experience. From the idea to writing it, to sharing it it’s been overall a joy. That’s not to say there haven’t been ups and downs or moments when I never wanted to write about another Gaylien. That’s normal. But from the subject matter to the people I’ve worked with at Calon, it’s been an outright joy.
First and foremost, a huge shoutout to Calon and the team there. And while I don’t mean this to be a slight to any of the other publishers I’ve worked with so far (of which I largely have good experiences), it’s fair to say that Team Calon raises the bar. I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by a passionate, knowledgable, efficient and, most importantly, incredibly human set of people. They understand the challenges of putting together and sharing a book and are just very human about it. They also wholeheartedly supported this idea from the start, and promoting a book is so much easier when you know the people who helped you make it are also entirely behind it. Also, before I move on to the actual book, the company my book is in at the publisher makes it very easy to be passionate about them but also makes me feel very privileged to be in their company (do check them out here)
So to the book…early on in the release, people kept asking ‘how’s it going?’ and the honest answer was ‘no idea.’ Partly because being so close to it, you can’t see it. Partly because early in the process, yes, the book is out there, but nobody has read the thing yet, so who knows? But as two months have passed, I think I can say a tentative…good? I think. That is to say, enough people have enthusiastically said they’ve enjoyed it to think I’m not delusional in thinking it was a good idea to publish.
And as a rule, I don’t seek out reviews. I’ve seen a couple, and they’re largely good. The ones that may or may not be on Goodreads are not for me (I’m not entirely sure who Goodreads reviews are for other than angry readers). And on the whole, actually, it doesn’t matter. The book isn’t for the kind of people who will no doubt spend too much of their lives telling us what’s wrong with Doctor Who this Saturday. This book isn’t for the people who don’t love RTD or think he doesn’t represent him. Why should it be? Why would you read a book about something you were already angry with? This book is for the folks who do love it, do love his work and maybe just enjoy reading someone else’s thoughts on it.
I’m happy, too, if people don’t agree with all my thoughts. That’s the beauty of critical engagement with art, with fiction, that both things, all things, can often be true. Do you disagree that Ten is an asexual character? Instead, think they’re a slutty time and space Daddy? Great, both things can indeed be true (For what it’s worth, Ten is both an asexual character and David Tennant Space DILF in my mind, so it’s okay). Or HATE Queer as Folk with a passion, and think that Hugh Grant was really annoying in A Very English Scandal? Great, we can debate like grown-ups, and I promise you I don’t mind.
The greatest joy of putting this book out into the world has been meeting people- not that they’ve largely been there to disagree with me. Coming to an event to disagree is largely the preserve of academic conferences rather than book events, but I did worry. Instead of ‘well actually’ men, I got an array of (mostly) queer folks loving the chance (I think) to talk about the kind of TV that has meant a lot to them. Hearing people’s memories of these shows, the things they love, the things that shaped them that they still revisit, is the joy of talking about this book.
As has the support friends and strangers have given me. From coming to book events (and bringing friends, partners, family…even dogs!). I hope you all know how much it’s appreciated. You didn’t have to, but you left the house and often spent money, spent time to support me. And those who shared things online- pictures of the book in shops, their own reviews, all of it. Every supportive comment has truly been appreciated and not taken for granted.
And of course, I can’t leave out the moment of meeting the big man himself ‘meet’ is probably generous for the first instance- we heckled each other across the cinema at Cardiff’s Iris Prize festival where he was doing a Q&A. I never envisioned my first encounter with someone I’ve written a book about being that, but it was enjoyable and showed that he’d taken the book in good spirits. Later we sat down and had a proper chat, which felt important to do, as well as just a moment of joy- two people who love TV and queer stories having a chat about those things. How lovely a thing. Would 2008 me believe it? Probably not, but as we move toward Doctor Who is back this week, it feels like 2008 again, so why not? (but while 2008 is 2008-ing, I wouldn’t say no to meeting DILF Timelord Tennant, obviously).
Those are the highlights, and of course, there have been lows. Not really lows, so much as overwhelming moments. I nearly didn’t go to that event where I met Russell because I was too exhausted. Travelling to book events on top of work, on top of teaching, on top of writing the next things, it’s a lot. As an Autistic person too, being ‘on’ for so much time, travelling, and dealing with all the admin sets my ADHD on edge too, and it’s been a lot, and I think it’s fair to acknowledge that. Unless we’re celebrity authors, all of us do this as a juggle with our ‘real’ lives, and I think six weeks in, I felt it. I’ve got one more event this year as I write this, and I’m ready to be done. Simply because you can’t sustain that pace alongside ‘life.’ And that’s ok; it’s a real privilege to do at all. But it’s also valid to acknowledge the toll it takes and that while writing work is fun work, it’s still work.
There’s also the feeling of ‘it’s never enough’ because I did so many events I haven’t had the time to pitch articles or write blogs as I have with other books. In particular, with Doctor Who I feel I could have gone harder, pitched to places, and tried to get my name out there….but I didn’t have time/didn’t have it in me. And it always feels insufficient/like someone is doing more/better to promote their book. But also, we all have limits. Maybe right now is not my time for that stuff; maybe that all comes next year, with time and space (pardon the pun) to do it right.
But what is ‘doing it right’? A book is for (print run) life, not just for release month. It’s a long game and that’s important to remember. This was just perhaps the season-opener, and there’s many a plot twist, cliffhanger and resolution to be had in the meantime. And that’s kind of exciting.
For now, there’s Doctor Who back, and the feeling it’s 2008 again. There are people maybe getting the book for Christmas, there’s people hwo have it getting to read it. There’s getting to talk about the book and things I love about RTD’s work. And after writing the book, and doing the first batch of promotions, I actually feel like the 10th Doctor the first time he left (!). I feel like him when he says he’s going to get his reward. Because talking about a book is in fact the reward for writing about it, and that’s what the last two months have felt like. And just like the 10th Doctor I guess you haven’t heard the last from me on it…
And of course, you can buy the book here.